Mom,

I'm sitting here, thinking about you, and looking at a picture of you, that's right above me on the wall. I don't know how to accept that you are not here. So many times I've gone to pick up the phone to call you, and then I remember...I can't. It's so hard to believe, and I don't want to. All the things people have said to me, to help, does not really help. Since I can't talk to you in person, I have chosen to talk to you in my journal. (I wonder if there are computer's in Heaven?)
Please come and visit me, somehow? I miss you terribly. I really believe that this is Hell on Earth, and where you are at is Heaven. I would gladly join you anytime. I never really realized how much you were the nucleus in my life, till you were gone, but you were. There has not been one day that I don't think of you, in some way. It hurts. I don't mean to sound so selfish, but I want you back here with me. I thought I was prepared for the worst, but I really was'nt. It is still...

[ Continued ]